Here I am. November 30th. With more than 15,000 words left to get to the finish line...

Yup, this year is not a win for me. But it's still better than last year where I didn't even start. 

Watching myself struggle to carve out writing time, or even finding writing time and just sitting at the computer looking at nothing and typing nothing, made me feel terribly guilty, especially since  I did walk away from the 3 Day Novel Challenge with over 43,000. If I can write 43,000 words in 3 days, WHAT THE HELL MAN?!?!

So then I started to really think about what made writing a novel in 3 days easier than writing a novel in 30.

Well, I narrowed it down to two reasons.

1st: Time off. Writing is both a solo sport and a team effort. With the 3 Day Novel taking place over a long weekend, it wasn't just necessary for me to take those three days off, but it required my partner to take three days off to pick up the slack that I created. I had to do some pre-noveling preparations like cooking and freezing an abundance of ready-made meals, and getting the whole house clean and laundry done, but then it was in hubby's hands to make sure that everyone ate, was clean, and relatively happy. It meant that any projects that he intended to work on before going back to work had to be put on hold so that I could just sit and write (and have my meals delivered to my perch).

There is no way that I could ask him to take off 30 days. And even though I technically only need a couple of hours each day to pull off 50,000 words in 30, I know first-hand how full his plate is. 

I did NaNoWriMo while doing the teaching program. But back then it was just the two of us and he worked full time in an industry that didn't give homework. Now there's three of us, one of which is a pretty demanding little dude, and while hubby is home evenings and weekends, it doesn't mean that he's done working. Times when I have been able to write for NaNo this year has been when everyone else is in bed. Well, I can only have so many good nights of that. Little one has me up at 2am and around 4:30. Hubby is off to work by 7:00am. And then it's all me until 4:30pm, at which point dinner should be started so that he can eat before having to get some more work done, and somewhere in there we like to be a family. 

When we brought the little one home from the hospital (I mean, he was already three months old by this time,) we decided that we'd schedule home office hours for ourselves so that we could get our own stuff done. That hasn't worked out so well. 

And while I know that pretty much all of the above is just a list of excuses, the point is that I decided that some things weren't worth carving out an hour of writing time for. No, we didn't HAVE to put the tree up this early. No, we didn't HAVE to hangout with friends that weekend. No, we didn't HAVE to have a family outing that day. But I wouldn't trade those things. And sacrificing sleep to make me more miserable the next day doesn't help anyone - it doesn't even motivate me to write. So I'll take my slow-going mornings where my son and I snuggle. I'll use his nap times to throw in a few loads of laundry and maybe get something updated. And I'll give my husband time to sort out his new teaching life - because I know what that's like, and as my maternity leave is coming to an end, I have to say that the mental/emotional exhaustion is just not something that I miss. 

In looking at things this way, I don't feel so bad about not reaching 50,000 words. I don't regret what I did with my time.

2nd: The story. The novel I wrote for 3 Day had been filed away in my head for several years. It just so happened that I was able to fill in a key component that helped bring everything together. So I was pretty familiar with the overall story and my main characters before the challenge even began. 

The novel I started for NaNo is a rather spontaneous idea. Don't get me wrong, I still like the idea, but it hasn't had the same amount of time to simmer. I get distracted by second-guessing the POV's, and trying to balance out how much of this story should be humorous and how much should be heartfelt - and I still don't have an answer to these questions. So the story is much rougher. In many places it has been more forced. And while I can see the ending and think it's masterful, it's the little stops along the way that feel rigid. I'm not even sure if this story should be a 50,000 word novel. I'm not sure if the right characters are telling the story. And so, left with a lot of questions, it's been a struggle to just jump into. 

But I can't complain. I have added to my list of WIP's this year. I have launched myself into different themes, exploring scenes and structures that are new to me. And frankly, writing even one new story a year is a successful year for me, so having two novels and two shorts, plus all of the feedback I've been giving this year to help other writers, I'd say that I've used my time well. Not perfectly, no, but well enough.

So congratulations winners, as well as to those of you who added just a few words to your page. You made something! Finished or not, you did the hardest part - getting started! You've already beat out the millions of people out there who didn't even make it out of the gate this year. 

And if you are one of those still in that gate? It's okay. The year isn't over yet. And besides, 2017 is a great time for a fresh start!

...

Yup, I think that pretty much sums up week 3. 

What began as a day off for birthday fun pretty much turned into a whole week - a whole week of not Nanoing and also not endless birthday fun...

Honestly, I've spent this week fighting with the washing machine that can't decide if it's broken or not. It's like it wants to be broken but when it's about to be fixed it second guesses itself and works again...

I don't think that there are washing machines in my WIP, but if there were, I'm pretty sure it would have just as many confusing characteristics as my real life one...

Week 4 is going to be brutal. Not because of how many words I need to write to catch up - I did do the 3 day novel, remember? But because I've now had this story cooling on the widow sill for far too long. I'm not done with the story. I still think it's cute. And Bram certainly hasn't left me yet! But getting back into that flow won't be easy. 

Here's hoping that all of you have had a better run of luck than I have this past week!

So this week has been filled with ups and downs. From motivation to actual time availability, this week has been all over the place. I just wish that I could say the same for this story. 3 straight days were spent forcing my way through this one scene. And yes, "forced" is the right word. So much so that I was debating chucking the scene entirely. The whole point of it was just for a gag moment anyways, so trying to give it purpose was like trying to clean a car with a dishwasher... not a natural fit.

I got through it, and actually put some important plot dialogue in it and move on to another scene that I just loved! I'm still not totally happy with the problem scene, and I may end up taking it out entirely in the final draft - the gag isn't that mind blowing anyway.

Just being able to move forward is such a load-off. And being happy about the last scene I wrote is the confidence boost that I need going into week 3.

Despite all of the ups and downs, I haven't let it keep down for too long. Back on track! Ready to go!

Doing NaNoWriMo with an under 1 year old isn't the easiest thing. But I'm doing better this year than on full-time teaching contracts. One kid 24/7 may be a lot of hands on, but not having to create a paper trail for every interaction with him actually allows me to enjoy some time at home - trust me, just ask my husband what I'm like at home while preparing interim report cards...

Preferably I'd like to get ahead by a couple of days - just because I want to actually finish this story in November regardless of where 50,000 gets me. And having a little cushion each day does wonders for my author ego.

Best of luck fellow writers! Hang in there! We're almost half way!

Okay, so it's not the end of Week One, and, yes, I am supposed to be writing. It is Double-Up Day after all, but it's been bothering me that I haven't said a word about what's on my NaNo plate this year!

I hardly wrote anything on day one. Just a couple hundred words. Which made my 2000 words on day 2 still look measley. Finally caught up on day 3, and narrowly got in the daily goal on day 4.

It makes me feel wimpy since I nearly wrote 50,000 words in three days just a few months ago. But there was a major difference about those 3 days compared to these 30... I had reached an agreement with my husband that he was responsible for all aspects of adulthood while I sat in front of my computer for 3 days. I can't quite make the same arrangement over 30 days. He actually has out of the house obligations, so that puts baby duty pretty much 95% on me. Yes, he still must handle at least 5% even on his busiest days because them's the rules!

Anyways, my NaNo story! It was a great Halloween theme, which is seeming less fitting now that Halloween is over. A tongue-in-cheek parody on fairytales, focused on witch hunting, staring a man who has spent the last 200 years enslaved as a witch's familiar; during which time he happened to fall in love with the familiar of a rival witch. Now that his witch has been slayed by the need-no-prince Princess, he is finally free(-ish) to find his lady love... if he can free her first. And if he can survive he wrath of the Princess who partially blames him for the attempted murder of her and her family as well as the corruption of her father's kingdom, even if he was a familiar bound by magic. 

Lots of silly characters, anachronisms, and a quest for true love!

Anyways, to help with the inspiration, an artist named Kai Austin was asking people for some unusual characters to draw, just to help her scratch her artistic itch, so I offered her my star-crossed lovers. And here they are:
​

I love this. And while most of my writing thus far has been in the realm of "smart-ass," this sketch captures the real heart within the story. It really is about true love, a man's unwavering loyalty to his heart, and his faith in what he feels. 

It's been a bit rockier of a start because I feel that I need so many POV's to do justice to these quirky characters, and I find myself inserting flashbacks that I wasn't planning on, but I think that it's coming together. My struggle I suppose is that I may be trying to cram too much in. But that'll be a discussion for post-first draft.

In the meantime, I will keep at it. 

Best of luck to all of you WriMo's, Rebels, Readers and Dreamers out there!

Here's hoping that we'll all have a great story to share in the new year!

My Halloween inspiration. Note the crows I picked up this year. Great atmosphere for plotting.... Rather empty now that it's all put away for next year. Should have kept at least one crow out of the box as my muse!

It is 1am on September 6th. I have participated in the 3 Day Novel contest and so far have lived to tell about it.

Actually, to be honest, I thought I'd be in much rougher shape. Aside from the last 20 minutes where I really had to panic, I actually pretty at peace with the whole process. I think I managed this miracle with the help of a few key factors. 
1) I put an outline together in my handy-dandy Hilroy!
2) I've been on a bit of a writing dry-spell. I've been doing a lot of editing work this year, but since I skipped NaNoWriMo last year, I really haven't written anything new in a very long time. I almost forgot that I do like to write!
3) My story stayed vivid to me.

In planning for this challenge, I tackled it in the terms of NaNoWriMo. The shortest wordcount definition for a novel being 50,000 words, so that's what I aimed to do for this as well - only 10 times as fast since instead of 30 days to write 50,000, I'd have 3. Which meant that I'd have to aim for just under 17,000 words per day.

I'm gonna tell you right now that I cannot write 17,000 words a day. I'm not a speedy writer. Still, I tried. 

Day 1, I surprised myself by pulling off just over 15,000 words. I started at midnight, wrote just over 3,000, and then when I woke again and added 12,000. I followed my outline fairly closely, I just added a few extra chapter breaks since my scenes ended up plumping out more than I originally thought they would. Great for those scenes, not so great for plugging through a whole novel in 3 days. Short on my word count and only a couple of ticks down on my outline.

Day 2 ended up being very similar to day 1. I wrote about 12,000 words and that was all of the steam that I had in me. Once again, I ended up delving into scenes that I absolutely loved. Great for those scenes, not great for only having a day left to use.

And then finally, Day 3. This was the do or die day. I was beyond the halfway point as far as my 50,000 word projection, but I was only really just at my halfway mark in my plot. A little disheartening knowing that I'd pull it off beautifully if it were the 4 day novel challenge. But I went for it. Trying hard to just get to the next scene. Rejecting the "Show Don't Tell" mantra because, damn it, Jim, I've got a story to tell!

I had told myself that by 10:00pm I would just forget about writing proper narrative and just start listing plot as a makeshift ending to just slap the final scene on this thing. Well, next thing I know it's 11:30 and I'm just building up to the much anticipated climax. Can't go into detail with the actual climax, and sure as hell can't play out all of that falling action. Skip, skip, skip. Lots of people died. Skip, skip skip. By the way, she's there now because she wasn't there when all of the other people died. Skip, skip, skip. The end, kinda, except there's this epilogue thingy that we don't have to have, and oh, hey look, it's midnight, I guess we're done. 43, 396!

So I saved it. Sent it. And immediately wanted to fix up that whole last bit of sloppy narrative mess. Clearly I picked a story that was a little too ambitious for 3 days, but I'm still convinced that 4 days would have been just fine for a first draft. Yes, the NaNoWriMo participant in me can't believe the words that just came out of my mouth... er, fingertips? A whole first draft in 4 days! 

I can't say that I'll be making a habit of this. I feel great about doing it this time around, and with a little work, I think I'll have a decent piece of work here, but a weekend novel is pretty intense, and I'm not confident that I can have everything lined up the way that it did for me this time. Part luck as much as planning. 

I'll be sticking to NaNoWriMo. And  a new draft a year is alright for me considering how long it takes to work, re-work, and edit, edit, edit. But I'd be willing to do this again. Maybe in a few years, or if I find myself in another dry-spell. 

I'm sure this won't be my last note on the subject. Prepare for a series of rants that my now crashing-brain is just not processing anymore. 
I was bursting with energy a while ago, but as I look at the clock, it's already after 2:00am. It has taken me an entire hour just to write this post. 

I must be crazy. In two days (well, one and a half I suppose), I will undertake the daunting task of completing a full first draft novel within 3 days. I can barely pull this off in 30 with my annual participation in NaNoWriMo. I don't know what compelled me to try this other than the fact that this is the first year that I'm not school planning over labour day. Hopefully it won't hurt me to try it just once... I feel like there is a whole history department out there dedicated just to the people who proved that statement wrong...

Anyways, in order to prepare, I have completed a rough outline, and consulted the Survival Guide. I won't share the whole Guide, after all, you can just click the link to read all 8 pages of it, but I will share the conclusion, because that was the one that I think I'll need to keep with me over the weekend - and it was too big to put into a tweet!

I don't know if I'll make it. I don't know if the novel will. But I'm sure I'll have a lot to rant about when it's all over - if I can write in complete sentences that is.

Take that, NaNoWriMo 2014! It wasn't an easy year, but I was more determined than ever to not let myself down. One defeat in 6 years in quite enough, and with any luck (or sheer will power) I won't have to face one ever again!

I'm a little lost for words right now because I just submitted my other blog post, and as tempted as I am to just copy/paste all of that here, I'll let Writers & Artists have the bulk of my victory cheer for now. 

I've learned lessons, made mistakes, fudged a few things here and there, and no, I'm nowhere near a real first draft, but I've got my confidence up again, which is always the biggest hurdle for me to climb. It's going to take a lot of work to get White Rabbits readable, but if the story holds out, it will all be worth it in the end. 

I guess it's time for me to update my list of titles, now, eh? It's still early, but, let's face it, post NaNo novel completion is like pulling teeth. And this one has a lot of teeth that need pulling. I won't abandon it, though. I'll just clean it up, and start fresh. Remember, I've vowed to have this draft done before February, so if don't do it, let the come of shame videos begin!

Best of luck to those who are still racing against the clock today! I'm still cheering you on!

And if you've been following my journey: THANK YOU! Just knowing that someone's waiting to hear about my progress gives me that extra push to see it through. 

Now, where's my celebratory ice cream?!?!

So I made a declaration that I would make 45,000 for this weekend. Saturday I wrote 984 words. A very small dent in my 5,000 words I needed to cover before Monday. So you can guess what I've been doing all Sunday. 4,771 words just today! I. Am. Amazing!

Getting started has been the hardest part. With the changes that I need to make, I can't move forward until I fill in the gaps. The problem with filling in gaps in a NaNo draft is trying to find them. My scenes are so scattered with attempts and rewrites that it's so hard to navigate. I cannot wait until December 1st when I can take a wrecking ball to this draft and start using that delete button! I have no intention of demolishing this story, I still quite love it, it's just so cluttered that it's hard to maneuver. 

I've decided that novel writing and marble sculpting have a lot in common. The big difference, though, is that with novel writing you have to build your stone block first. That's the NaNo draft, a big pile of mess that hopes to be something. Post-NaNo draft is when the sculpting actually happens. The voices have spoken, the image is clear, now all you have to do is chip away all the "not story" until you can see her. Some sanding, some polishing, maybe even a little paint, and she'll be beautiful. But, damn, is it hard to love that clump of rock when you don't know where to attack it next. 

Clearly today's near 5,000 words is a sign that I got on a roll. There's still life in this story yet! 5,000 more words before Sunday and we can call this NaNo a wrap! Will any of that 5,000 get touched during the week or will I be doing another weekend sprint? No idea, but I have the feeling that this week won't be seeing too many daily posts. 

I'll definitely do a wrap up post, though! I promise!

It finally happened. Not just one day, but TWO FULL DAYS without adding even one word to my NaNo novel. I would hang my head down in greater shame, but let's look at where I actually am NaNo-wise. This time last year I had already stopped writing for a full week and never picked it back up again. This time the year before, I was probably trying to catch-up to the word goal. I may have dropped the ball for two days, but I had two weeks of amazing! Plus, I pretty much knew that I'd be taking at least one of these two days as a writing hit. 

In any event, I made up for it a little today. Pushed my word count past 40,000! So I can still aim for 45,000 for the end of the weekend! 

And "vorpal"? If you read the title of this post you might be wondering how "vorpal" fits in. Well, I realized that I hadn't included it in my story. I also realized how it fits in and there may or may not be a vorpal sword that makes a cameo... I don't think it goes snicker-snack though... sorry L.C.

Not looking forward to the ginormous story overhaul that awaits me though. I feel like I should have had more of this sorted before November. Clearly even my characters were fuzzy on the details. I guess that happens when you get overexcited. 

10,000 more words to go and then it's another NaNo season done for the year. Will I remember all of the lessons I've learnt this time around? Nope. Pre-NaNo brain is filled with hope, rainbows and sunshine. I'm in Mid-NaNo world, it isn't as pretty. Post-NaNo, however, is simply euphoria! But is also followed by a very big crash about an hour later. Why do I do this every year?!?!?

The 17th was another pathetic word day. 300 is hardly a great accomplishment, but I had an amazing night out so I think that has to count for something! If I didn't go out, I wouldn't have even noticed my birthday! So I think that the NaNo gods can make some allowances.

Also, if you read Day 16's post, you'll be glad to know that even now, on Day 18, I am in fact alive and well. So far nothing worse has happened *knock on wood*. I did have a moment of spontaneous inspiration which was going to lead me to re-write just about everything I have done so far, but as I was about to strike a line through things, I realized that there was a problem. There wasn't a way to actually do what I had imagined. There's a ban on mirrors, so needing multiple characters to be able to world jump can't actually happen. And no, I'm not lifting the ban, it's a very important rule. You can't have just anyone bouncing from one world to the other! It would be like the Dark Ages! 

It's scary how I can justify the actions in the world below. Just wait until we get to the part about human sacrifice. Yup, I've got a justification for that too. Doesn't that fit in that childhood psychopath test somehow? If you can justify why something immoral happened, it means that you must be one? Or is that something that only existed in my youth?

Somewhere someone is analyzing my posts and has a series of diagnoses for me, don't they? Or maybe I'm just over-analyzing myself because I'm married to a psych major? Hmm, I wonder if this Criminal Psychology stuff may be brushing off on me given the subject matter of this story? I am very prone to suggestion. I'm a sucker for anything on the menu that has a picture on it. Or seeing other patrons eating. I always want what they have!

I'm also thinking that this has something to do with why my word counts are getting harder to come up with. I'm ahead of all of my writing buddies. This doesn't usually happen. I always have someone to sprint after. The direness is lost. Nothing dire here. Direless wolves, that's all I've got... 

... and the rambling begins... I imagine that this post is a great predictor of what I'm going to have to work with once I get into revisions: "WTF WAS I THINKING?!?! NOTHING MAKES SENSE!!!" 

Good luck, Future Me. Past Me is tempted to be in bed for 8 o'clock. Oh the exciting life I lead! 

Tomorrow I expect to get to 40,000. This will make up for the writing I won't be able to do on Thursday. And I have no idea how I'll pull off 45,000 for Friday. Maybe by Sunday will be a nice compromise. That still gives me a lot of time to clear 50,000 a day or so early. Then NaNo gods help me keep writing when the drive is lost. Post-NaNo crash - brace yourselves fellow WriMo's!

Happy Writing!