Do you know what's fun about living in a small hole in the ground? Do you know what's fun about living in a really old and never been properly maintained hole in the ground? Every now and then you get reminded that that thing you usually refer to as your "house" is actually just a hole in the ground with a few wall-like things put up around you for decoration. It doesn't rain much in Calgary, but June is the rainy season here, and as such, all of that outside world that we pretend is separate from our "house-world" actually comes inside to say hello. Not a huge, "Imma live here now, B*TCH!" kind of "hello," but a subtle, "maybe if I stay quiet no one will notice me and then I can stay here forever" kind of hello. 

We first learned of this last summer when random pools of water would form in the strangest of corners, and never in the same spot back-to-back. So when it started to rain a few days ago, Matt and I inspected all of the known leakable places and were greatly relieved that we had no flooding. That night, as he's coming to bed, Matt says to me, "Did you spill some water in here?" Sure enough, the rug under the bed was damp. We pull the bed out and, sure enough, the rest of the rug is soaking wet and the floor is covered in mud. Yes, not just water, mud, because our walls don't actually connect to anything and thus dirt and insect life tend to let themselves in. It makes me sad, not because we have to clean this up, but because we are just one step away from the kind of living conditions we make fun of Americans for believing we live in. It's not a log cabin in the middle of the tundra, but days like these, I think the cabin would be dryer. 

Now my living room/dining room looks like this. This rug is the size of my bed. It did not like trying to come out of the bedroom doorway and it certainly did not like being propped up on chairs. 

Mess is all cleaned up now. Matt's prized possessions of framed autographs from our Comic Expo visits were among the casualties, but we got those dried out and sitting on the table until we can figure out a safe place to put them in a hole in the ground with no storage space and all 6 bookcases completely filled. All that remains is the rug. A big fluffy shagg rug. It's supposed to keep raining for the rest of the week. How is rain on your wedding day good luck? Please tell me that rain all throughout my wedding week will be 7x luckier!

I've posted a few times about the book club I am proudly a part of. Most of my tweets contain inside jokes that occur during one of our meetings. This month I didn't tweet a thing. Why? Because now you can hear every last bit of it! 

May's book was Titus Groan by Mervyn Peake. It made my life! It was nominated for numerous Curious Endeavourances awards, gave Caitlin the member award for "Best Pick", and continued my reign of "Most Tweetable Comments". Am I performing for the camera? Ask the other members, I'm just as ridiculous in real life. I'm only surprised that I made it through the whole session without falling on my bum. The last time I sat in my wheely chair, I missed it and it was a very painful end for me. 

Also, if you're wondering what's in the glass: Moo Wine. An inside joke since it's so fitting to have a glass of wine during a book club yet I don't drink at all. It was recommended that I have chocolate milk instead. I'm not too proud to drink chocolate milk out of a wine glass for all the world to see. Off camera I also have a cup of tealess tea. I am such a grown-up!  

My official review of Titus Groan as originally posted on GoodReads:

Matt and I enjoyed our theatre night out - the final production of our season tickets. Anne of Green Gables the Musical. Matt and I both read the book and were looking forward to this production, but neither of us could have dreamed how sweet, beautiful, fun, heart-breaking, and overall magical it would be. The cast was lively and vibrant. Anne was the perfect picture of the spirit of that little red-headed girl with a voice that tugged on heart-strings in a way that reminded me of Jo from Little Women. The musical numbers were fun, joyful - and anything that can pull off an entire number dedicated to ice cream is just fine by me! Matthew and Marila were straight from the books, with Matthew bringing me to tears every time he sang, leaving me completely bawling by Act Two knowing what was to come. Diana was sweet and perky. Gilbert playful and charming. But it was the whole company and the dynamic of the ensemble that made it larger than life. The dance numbers, the quiet exchanges among them, and the distinct personalities that shone out to make the whole community of Avonlea real in the heart of Calgary. I felt proud to be in that audience tonight. I feel humbled by the immense talent that was before my eyes. And, as always, proud to be a Canadian from an old gold rush town that preserves it's pioneer heritage - Anne of Green Gables,  though set in a province I've never been to in a time long before my own, makes me feel at home; Anne of Green Gables the Musical made all of that come alive; it made me feel at home in Avonlea!

Anne of Green Gables, I hope you never change!

PS. I wanted to put up a picture of the program, but apparently "Can you hold this for a second" was interpreted as "Throw this out for me, now!" I could go to the Theatre Calgary website and find an image to use, but it's already after midnight, so I'll let you search for your own images and make you go see this play! Seriously, see it! Bring the whole family! Really! I feel like I was an inadequate audience member because it was only just Matt and I; we should have brought our parents and quickly had some children to bring with us too! It deserves to be shared with the whole family! 

So it has been brought to my attention that my concern for novel wordcounts makes other aspiring writers very concerned about the creative quality of my work. I should add that this also comes from someone who has never read any of my work. I'm not offended, I've just never stopped to think about just how crazy my method seems to an outsider, mainly because only NaNoers and non-writers ever usually make conversation with me about my writing. So, if my constant number-related tweets have you greatly concerned about what the heck I'm doing to a perfectly sacred art as writing, let me try to explain:

I've been writing for years. I've been writing since before I was even really all that capable of putting together a coherent sentence on paper. I've always had a very (over-)active imagination and my life has been filled with stories - not just stories, characters interacting with the world. True yet possibly embarrassing story: I found characters everywhere, even within the very written form of numbers and letters (the characters of characters, haha!) This was very distracting for a kindergartner who was learning to write and do math. Each letter and number had a very distinct personality and reacted very particularly depending on which letter or number went beside them. Try putting words or double-digit numbers together when they start reacting to one another. Weird story? Maybe to you it is. No, I wasn't diagnosed with ADHD or anything. I was a distracted kid, yes, but the only thing that threw me off was coming to understand that no one else saw things this way. I think it's far more crazy for me to see entire stories play out in my head based on nothing that's immediately in front of me - where the hell does that come from?!?! 

So I'm crazy. Let's just accept this. Why did I tell you this? Because I need you to understand that I don't just write to hit wordcounts or win annual novel writing competitions. I write because it gets freakin' crowded in my head and the only way to make some room is to give the story a new place to live. I write, not because I want to make stuff up, but because I need to let stuff out. 

So why wordcounts? Well, if for some reason you find yourself reading this without knowing anything about NaNoWriMo, firstly, how the hell did you even stumble upon this posting?!?!?! (If it was through Stumble Upon, I accept this as a legit excuse and will feel gleeful that someone submitted it... if Stumble Upon is now so passé and you have no idea what that is either, just pretend that I don't live in a bubble and that this parenthesis section never existed.) Secondly, check it out because, really, they can explain themselves far better than I can www.nanowrimo.org . 

I began participating in NaNoWriMo in 2008. I had already written 2 novels, several short stories, and a couple years prior had begun the novel that I "knew" I was meant to publish. NaNoWriMo was brought to my attention by a friend I volunteered with at the University and since she discovered that I was a writer she proposed that I try to challenge myself. I was skeptical. I read up on it, read participants' reactions to the process and frankly it scared me. I too believed that there was something pure about noveling, that it had to fall into place. I had read people's reactions to their NaNo stories going off the deep-end, ideas being completely turned on their head, and all sanity being lost at the attempt to just hit a stupid meaningless wordcount. Nevertheless, I accepted the challenge. I wrote a fanfic to save my own stories from being destroyed, and as much as I was driven crazy, as much as my ideas turned on their head, as much as I plunged off of the deep-end with no idea how to swim, I loved every moment of it. It wasn't a race to get the "right" words, it was a race to actually get the story told. For how many unfinished or discarded stories I already had in my back-pocket, NaNo opened my eyes to what I could do. It showed me that if the story mattered, it deserved to get out there. Now, I think this is where the misconception comes in. At the end of the day I don't have another 2,000 words of forced crap that I will just cut out anyways - it IS pure. When you're writing under this much pressure, that controlling perfectionist voice in your head has no power to keep up, and the story is more real than anything you could have forced out. I write "crap" when I get in the way of myself. I am not the creator of my stories, I am the vessel, the tool, I am the means by which the story tells itself. I write in wordcounts to put the pressure on, to make it a goal to actually give the story the time and dedication that it needs, to actually get the ending on it because another year goes by - or in Galen's case, the novel I began in my first year of university - an entire degree program later - or worse, left unfinished and forgotten about. 

Writing under pressure doesn't work for everyone. Some people need to do things in their own time and I totally believe that whatever method works for you is what you should go with. I was won over by the NaNoWriMo philosophy and I actually find myself needing to do less revision when I write in one shot than when years have gone by and I'm not even the same person I was when I started the story. 

In short, don't judge a writer by their method. There is no "right" method. If you must judge, judge the end product, but judge it based on what it actually is. Of course the first draft won't be gold, it's like judging how "homey" a house feels based on it's blueprints. The work I've released, that's me saying, "This is it! Judge away!" But again, take it for what it is. Who I was and how I wrote during the release of Galen is not the same as who I am today or how I will write 10 years from now. I release a work not because I think it's perfect, but because I feel that I have given that story what it wanted, presented it how it wanted to present itself to you. It's not just individual letters and numbers that are alive to me, it's the entire collection of them. When they are ready to be shown off, I let them go, and they get to live through your reading of them. 

Is my method full of madness? Yeah, but if there weren't people who saw the world a little differently, I think we'd all be a little bored. You don't have to agree with my method, you don't even have to like the work that I produce; all I ask is that you respect what I do is a genuine part of me, it is my creativity and expression, and not words for the sake of writing words. I can't tell you how many people have told me just to copy-paste the same word or sentence over and over again just to meet a word quota. If it was just about making words, trust me, I'd do that. It means more to me, though. Just as I imagine that your writing methods mean the world to you. Whatever honours the story being told, that's the "right" method. The madness, in my opinion, is just a bonus!
 

Have been feeling game deprived so I dragged Matt into a few tabletops - as opposed to on a few tabletops ;-)
First we did a few rounds of King of Tokyo. Still love this game. It works fine 2 player but it just gets better the more people you add. Didn't take a picture of it: 1) I forgot, 2) I have several pictures of it posted already so when we have something a little more epic going on, I'll post another one. 
We finally pulled Pillars of the Earth back out. Based on Ken Follett's novel of the same title, Pillars of the Earth is a resource collecting game. Matt and I were backwards in gaming. We played this (and several others) before getting to Settlers of Cataan. So when I explained to him what Settlers was like, I basically said it was Pillars crossed with Carcassonne only simplified. The resource strategy of Settlers is here, gathering gravel, stone, timber, and metal from deposits, trying to avoid being taxed, getting a hold of enough workers to do the job, and rack up the most victory points. Each round is depicted by a section of the Cathedral which you build up - a silly bulky round tracker but, hey, what would the connection be to the books if you didn't actually build a Cathedral? There are cards that you can purchase or earn that make your resources more valuable, and if you're familiar with the book, you'll get a kick out of the characters who trot along to help you. It's not an overly exciting 2 player game; there's absolutely no reason to ever purchase for 7 gold coins in a 2 player game, so the edge-of-your-seat "omg! I have no money!" doesn't occur as quickly or frequently when you have so little competition. Just adding the 3rd player, however, starts limiting your options and then it's all a matter of doing the best you can with whatever you're stuck with. Matt and I have only been playing it 2 player thus far - haven't done 3 since we first played it with my brother. I always lose at this game - I always lose at King of Tokyo too but it's one of my favourites! Pillars of the Earth was worth the purchase in my books, even if it isn't the first game we want to grab. It's a quieter play, crunching numbers in your head and secretly plotting about where you want to move next, but I enjoy that I get to re-enter the Ken Follett's world. I loved the novel, both Matt and I loved the mini-series (he'd love the book too if he'd read it), and so the game has a bit of a nostalgic flair to it, even if the connections are very faint in reality. You can easily play this game without having read or watched anything to do with the theme, but I wouldn't be surprised if such a person found another resource collecting game more appealing. It's not the best game we own, but it certainly isn't the worst. I think if we ever had exactly 4 of us playing, we would probably be more inclined to playing several of our games more, but normally if it isn't just the 2 of us, it's at least 6. It's a problem that most of the games we're encountering play best at the 3-4 range. Though I must say, City of Thieves is proving to be a great purchase, even with it's 4 player limit. If only a game like Defenders of the Realm could accommodate a few more - like Arkham Horror kind of more... That's where King of Tokyo is so awesome, you can't even play the whole board until you have at least 5 people - definitely one of our staple games at the moment!

"Why are you going on about board games? I thought you were a writer? Why aren't there more damn books?!?! Why do you write so slow?!?! Who do you think you are, George. R.R. Martin??!?!" Ha! I wish... I wrote 1,500 words today! I know, that's not even NaNo standard, but this is also the book that has plagued me for the last 10 years. I've re-written the thing 3 times! Knightsbridge and I have a love-hate relationship, and I'm pretty sure that whatever I come up with over the next few days won't even blend in with the whole other half of the story. Nevertheless, I made a promise to end this thing, and damn it, I'm going to do it! So it's slow going, but I promise, I am not going to wait another 10 years to finish the silly first draft! Notice, that wasn't a promise for it's release... if I can just finish the first draft of it without one of us getting killed, it will be a miracle... I'm not ready to think about revising and editing yet... I'm gettin' the horrors juss thinkin' 'bou' it...

When I graduated in 2010, I ventured out to do something I had been dreaming of, with no real purpose behind it and not even close to enough money to afford it. I ran away to England, lived in a Castle, and had the best time of my life doing everything that I love. I met the most wonderful people, did everything I possibly could to be involved with my school, my village, and my friends. It was only 3 months, but they were the most unforgettable 3 months of my life. That's all I could do. I cried all the way to the airport but I reassured myself that I would have no regrets. The fact that I was so close to NOT going in the first place and instead had this amazing adventure, how could I possibly regret that? But I had to return to Canada. I had to keep going with my life. My friends stayed. The people I met and loved had a whole new set of adventures that I couldn't be a part of. 

It's been 3 years now. A whole new set of students are living the dream in the Castle. How could I ever expect to still have a part of me roaming those stone halls? My time had ended, and those who knew me best have left too. So what a surprise when one of the staff members forwards me a copy of their recent newsletter. I flip through the pages and see countless faces that I don't recognize, all the new Hogwarts students, and while I do enjoy reminiscing, I'm trying to understand why this issue? Then I see it. Pictures of my book in large coloured print. The whole page dedicated to me and the release of my book. Hundreds of students who have never met me and probably never heard of me are reading my name. It's not the publicity of my book that's making me cry - I've been remembered. I've been away for 3 years and yet some part of me is still back in that Castle. 

Maybe this is fate. In a couple of months I will be back in England, I'll be visiting my Castle. I'll be newly married, on my honeymoon with my new husband, but I need to show him where I fell in love with life itself, where I discovered the best of myself, where I truly realized that I can do anything! That's what's making me cry - I'm crying because it's me who keeps forgetting about that amazing part of me. Thanks for reminding me, Rachel and everyone at Bader/Herstmonceux! Forget the book; I have a lot to be proud of!

If you want to see the newsletter, it's here.

And because I'm feeling sentimental, here's a few pictures of my adventures.

The giveaway books have arrived! If you have not yet entered for your chance to win a free copy of Freakhouse, what are you waiting for? I'll even sign them - you have been warned, though, my signature won't go for very much on E-Bay. 
http://www.goodreads.com/giveaway/show/52237-freakhouse

Giveaway ends on June 15th. I have ZERO control over selecting the winners, so tell your friends, especially the ones who aren't even interested so that they can pass the winnings onto you. 

More information about the book can be found here: http://newellbooks.weebly.com/freakhouse.html

And if you just cannot wait for June and want your copy RIGHT NOW! You can get a paperback version from Amazon.com, Amazon.co.uk, and Amazon.eu. If you like your books treeless, ANY Amazon online store will have it for Kindle for under $5.00!

Want a sneak-peak? Sure, why not! You seem like a lovely lot! 
Not formatted to scale, but it'll give you a taste.

As the title suggests, I just want to talk about Gormenghast. Sadly, one of the reasons I powered through this book so quickly was that I was afraid that it would take me a long time to get through it. Apparently I did alright. I have only just finished Titus Groan, the first book, and now I will wait impatiently until Curious Endeavourances meets up again at the end of the month. Therefore I will refrain from reviewing the book here now, and really, it's not like I haven't already posted a review of it somewhere (GoodReads) so I can restrain myself from doing so three more times today.

Pent-up book-talk is the worst! And yet simultaneously the best! 

In the meantime I suppose I should be a little more real-world productive, though it's not as though I haven't been. I contacted 2 majorly important wedding related people and did my daily French lesson so reading has not held me back at all. I just know that I can't proceed forward with Gormenghast, the second book, yet. As I may have mentioned, I have to Beta Matt's book, and he has made me vow to wait until he gives me the most current edition, which is frustrating because I have a fairly recent edition sitting in my inbox right now and could easily start reading it. But alas, must wait until he gets home from work... I hate the late shift. I'd probably hate it even more if I were the one working it.

I suppose I should just do dishes and make some cookies. I think I would like cookies. Yes, I would like cookies. The thoughtful soon-to-be-wife would probably say, "I think my sweet honey-bunny would like cookies when he gets home from work late tonight." But I don't need to think that, I KNOW that. I also know that if I make 4 dozen cookies I will have the opportunity to eat 3 of them before they all magically disappear. Whereas if I start before he's home, I can get 3 in before he even knows about them. Then again, the main reason why I usually only get 3 is because after 3 I'm done. I have no dieting restrictions on myself, I just hit a point where I feel satisfied enough and know that if I have more I will just feel icky. Matt has no such little voice in his head to tell him that a can of Coke for breakfast, or 5 cans, might not be the best of plans. Thus, I stop, he doesn't, and when my wait period is over and I feel like giving myself a treat, I find empty boxes. Still haven't forgiven him for the Drumsticks... I bought a box of Drumsticks because I thought it would be a nice treat, Matt picked a different treat and we bought both. I never did get a Drumstick. When I felt ready for my treat, I discovered that they were all gone... Matt defends himself by saying that it took me a week after buying them to finally go searching for one... there's also only 4 in a box. On the other hand, I also tend to eat food right off of his plate, sometimes even intercepting a fork just before it gets to his mouth. I guess we both have our quirks. And to give him credit, if I had told him in that moment that I wanted one of my missing Drumsticks, he would have done the chivalrous thing and gone to the corner store to get me one - I know this because he's done it on multiple occasions already, even as a surprise, even if I'm not ready for it and have to stick it in the freezer... he doesn't touch those ones :)

Can you tell that I'm feeling bored and chatty? Well, I did just finish a kick-ass book! And now I shall make my honey-bunny some cookies! 

See? I am a good soon-to-be-wife!

I can't believe that I'm putting this here - actually, I can't believe that this even still exists. Several years ago, maybe back in 2005-ish, I auditioned for a short film done by a group in the local Society of Independent Filmmakers. It was a small roll, and my first on film, but I got the title role and it led to another film shortly after, and then to Hollywood independent movie called Fido where I got to walk a zombie around a park in Vernon, BC. My short-lived film acting career. 

Just a few minutes ago, I got a notification that I had been "tagged" in a post. What should I find but the last-minute film I didn't even audition for, live on YouTube. Funny story about the very first time I ever saw this film. I walked into class and was told by my teacher that she saw me on the internet... I had no idea what she was talking about, but eventually she explained, I got less weirded out, and she gave me the link. Sure enough there I was. I think that the film went to enter a few contests but I have no idea where it went from there. It wasn't up for long and I figured it was gone forever. Not gone. Still very much alive. 

Interesting to note, this film features my mother and my soon-to-be-husband. All-star cast if you ask me ;)

The only thing harder than writing a novel is writing the synopsis. I HATE writing my own synopsis! So when my writer friend tells me that she's trying to do one for her own book, I get tremendous sympathy pains. The funny thing is, coming up with a synopsis for someone else's novel is fun and easy. The moment she mentioned what she was doing and which work it was for (one I already Beta'd), I summed it up in 2 lines. I'm very proud of myself. 

The catch is: I can't give it to her. I totally understand. When it's your work, it's your baby, and you want to believe that you can handle anything/everything that it needs. Been there, done that, will probably keep being there and doing that for the rest of my life, because, let's face it, I'm stubborn.

Nevertheless, I'm still very proud of myself for my contribution, even if it isn't an actual contribution because she won't read it. CAITLIN, IF YOU DON'T WANT IT, DON'T READ ANY FURTHER!!!!
I'M WARNING YOU!!! STOP! 
I see you reading!!! 
Are you sure?
Are you very very sure?
You HAVE been warned. 

She's still reading...

As I was saying, I was feeling really proud of myself and since I probably can't do anything with it, I'll post it here so I can "ooo" and "ahh" at my clever quick thinking. And even if she doesn't like it and has no intention of going in this direction, I just gave her a free plug to get you interested in her up-coming novel. I see no downside.

BAHAHAHA! I totally lost it! All of this and I can't find it!
Oh wait. Found it. I thought I saved it as "blurb" but apparently I saved it as "blub."

So here it is, the "blub" for secret Perry novel: