Pre-teen me was not a great long-term thinker. And somehow I went from an actually pretty interesting and complex adult drama novel to a whimsical and cliche fantasy that was Legendary. Oh, I was so proud of that one. I made everyone read it. And I suppose for 13 it was a pretty good try at noveling, but the memory I have of its underdevelopment is haunting. That being said, I also haven't read it in a long long time. I still have it, somewhere it is all saved digitally and I have a full print-out of it on my bookshelf right now. I am my own worst reviewer, and I often latch onto the worst features of any of my works. I did the same thing with Galen when it was only half written. I thought that it would have to be completely redone and I was ready to do that, until I began actually reading it again and I surprised myself. It's been a year since I've read Galen and my attitude towards it is rather lukewarm now. I can only imagine what I will think of Freakhouse a year after it becomes published. At the moment I think that it is the greatest thing I've ever written, but I'm sure some part of me will turn to the darker side of things and remember only flaws.
There is some value in that, though. I would rather always be looking for new ways to grow than to have myself believe that I've mastered my art. I think that the mastery comes in the changing. I've mentioned it before, how I felt myself grow with my works, and since I do believe that my works choose me rather than me them, I suppose that seeing past works as below par from where I am now is a sign of my growth. Those works represent a time and a place that I was in during the writing of them, but even a day later I can be a completely new place, heading in a completely new direction. If I made every idea that popped into my head each day into a finished product, you can bet that I would have a much larger list of stories-that-shall-not-be-named.