One of Those Days (featuring the Marshmallow Man and his Dog)

You know when you wake up in the morning and have a feeling that today just won't be your best day? Not only was today not my best day, but all possible expectations I could have had for it to be a bad day were quite underwhelming compared to the ridiculousness of painful, waste-of-time, "help, I'm trapped in this lecture hall and can't get out," kind of day that I ended up having. Luckily, there were plenty of others suffering with me, including friends, and try as we might to keep each other going by the time we reached the 3 hour mark in our room where hope comes to die, desperation called our names and so the group story was born. I'm sure that it has a better funky name, but you have no idea how much non-functioning my brain has been struggling through today. Basically we each write a sentence or so of the same story and pass it around. Juvenile, you say? Much needed, says I! It took 4 of us to create this masterpiece (so don't lay all the blame on me!), and it allowed us to end the class with a smile on our face.

Therefore, without further ado, the collaborative tale of the Marshmallow Man and his Dog:

Once upon a time there was a fluffy Marshmallow Man who ate cotton candy everyday. He became so fat that he could not leave his gingerbread house. Then he thought, "Wait a minuite. My house is EDIBLE! I could just eat my way out!" And so he did. The fluffly Marshmallow Man ate around his front door, and his chocolate dog helped gladly. Once his house was completely gone, the Marshmallow Man turned and looked towards his dog. The dog, Ralph, was looking mighty tasty. The Marshmallow Man's mouth began to water. But then he thought, "No! My fluffy companion! Ralph! Must...not...eat...must...not..." Unbeknownsts to Marshmallow Man, however, Ralph was also looking at him with a strange look in his brown doggy eyes. Marshmallow man's largeness made it more difficult for him to move, and an easier target for Ralph the dog to grab. Ralph began to run in circles around Marshmallow Man in hopes that he would be able to trip Marshmallow Man. Ralph's plan worked; Marshmallow man fell right on his back. Ralph started gnawing on Marshmallow Man's leg. Yum. The Marshmallowy goodness stuck to the roof of Ralph's mouth, and though there was still much man left to devour, Ralph was in desperate need of a glass of milk. Ralph ran over to the house next door seeking some milk, but all the doors to the house were closed. He began to bark furiously in hopes that someone would open the door. And who should open the door but Marvin the Milkcow! Before Marvin could make a sound, Ralph began ravenously sucking at her teat. "Mmm, that's the stuff," he thought. That was it; it was love! Ralph knew from that moment on he would never leave Marvin's side. However, Ralph hadn't taken Marvin's feelings into account. Believe it or not, Marvin did not enjoy being physically violated and stomped her feet in protest. Unfortunately, Marshmallow Man had silently crawled towards Ralph bent on revenge, and Marvin's hooves suddenly became much stickier than was their wont. Marvin fell back, squashing Marshmallow Man with such force that his arms and one remaining leg shot out, leaving the milkcow stuck in an endless pile of goo. "NOOOO!" barked Ralph. He began to eat at the pile of goo one bite at a time. Marvin struggled furiously in marshmallow goo, mooing and flailing her legs. As before, Ralph began to need milk. But, oh, tragedy! Ralph needed to eat the Marshmallow Man to get the milk, but he needed milk to eat the Marshmallow Man! What to do?! The irony was almost too much to bear! Ralph paused for a moment to ponder. His only choice was to leave both Marvin and the Marshmallow Man, or what was left of him, behind. Just before Ralph was about to walk away in search of bigger and better things, he lifted his hind leg. A stream of yellow liquid sailed out of Ralph's bum area and landed squarely on Marvin's face. The ultimate insult. So much for true love. Ralph strutted away with his head held high and his mouth still sticky. But what's this? Norma the goat? "Got goat's milk?" Ralph wanted milk so bad, but goat's milk wasn't his forte. He decided to leave Norma as well. He had his standards, you know. Coconut? Almond? Soy? Where could he get some milk?

...to be continued...?