I have 22 hours in which to complete and win CampNaNoWriMo. Aside from my last attempt at ScriptFrenzy, this is the worst I have ever done at a NaNoWriMo event. This even trumps the year I was abroad and told myself that not winning was okay - which of course as we all know is a downright lie and thus I had to do a full week sprint to catch up. I have no such excuse this time around. In fact, I think I need to blame my memory of NaNo 2010 for showing me that I can pull it out of my rectal region if I really put my mind to it. I guess, if nothing else, my can-do attitude should be admired... the complete and utter "meh, I can do it later" attitude should be hung, drawn and quartered, and even possibly not in that order. 1,200 words are all that stand between me and victory. Considering I've barely moved from this little sofa all day and wrote over 9000 words, I think I can handle it. The bigger question is, can I actually finish this novel? And even bigger than that, has writing this novel even been worth the effort? I promised that Freakhouse will be ready to go for the first week of May. Regardless of how Parish is standing (as in if I ever want to admit to it's existence after tomorrow), I believe Freakhouse will be worth putting out there. If nothing else, I'm curious as to how it will be received. I expect at least one angry letter out of it.
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So as promised, I wrote like a madperson, 5000 words at a time. I'm over 30,500 as I type this, my goal for today was 35,000, and I don't know if I can bring myself to get there. Maybe it's the surge of writing madness over the past few days that has me feeling a little "meh" today, or maybe it's the second thoughts I've been having about this story. Freakhouse just seemed so right. I don't remember wondering if I should just quit and never let the world read it. I'm wondering if I'm trying to hard with Parish. If the only reason I'm writing it is because I feel like some not-yet-existing reader is going to demand closure and I feel obligated to provide some. The pieces just aren't falling into place like I want them to, and I don't feel as excited about it as I think I should. Too many things floating around in my brain right now, so many things about writing Parish when what I should be doing is basking inside the world of Parish. Maybe Freakhouse will be a one-shot after all, I just don't know at this point.
... As I'm trying to think about what to write for this post (feeling guilty that I've abandoned this too), I have a sudden thought... I don't know if it will work, and it will require pretty much re-writing all 30,000+ words if I do this, but maybe, just maybe it might be the answer I'm looking for... Sorry about the random cryptic stream of consciousness, but this is partially why I thought about blogging. I needed to start writing in a flow (unlike what I've been doing all feakin' day). Spontaneous writing is so wonderful for that. So, please forgive this post. It was meant for me and now I've got a job to do! So why have I been so "off the face of the planet" lately? I've been teaching. I've been lesson planning, marking, and essay-writing. And was all of this effort worth giving up my writing passion? This picture is how one of my students sought to say farewell to me, wise beyond her years, I think she couldn't have said it better. It is a dangerous business going out your door, but it is always worth the journey, if only to have a new story to tell out of it. I'm not done writing. I have over 30,000 words still to write and less than 9 days to write in. I'm not giving up. I have 9 days to keep my feet, after that, I'm ready to be swept off down any road. Come on! Bring on that new adventure! So after school today (I teach, remember?), Matt sends me a text that he has finished reading Freakhouse. This is all the detail I get. He won't be home until about 10:00 tonight. It's only a few hours away now, but I can't bring myself into a headspace to do any writing. I know about a few typos I have to correct. I seem to want to write anything but "so", therefore random "go" "to" "of" are in really weird places. It's almost as bad as my very first NaNo in which I became so automatic in writing "Jack" that it replaced pretty much any actual vocabulary I had ("he Jack" What? No! "He said!!!!!!).
I wish that I could tell you that Parish was going well, but right now I'm not happy with it. I'm curious if I do this every NaNo and then instantly forget or if I'm really just struggling to get going on this. For now I blame the lack of competition, because damn it, that's half the reason I NaNo in the first place! Still behind, but slowly getting closer. I'm also starting to feel like nothing's happening. I don't have the luxury of instant flashback that takes up 2/3 of the novel like Freakhouse. Doing an entire novel in present tense is painful. I hope something exciting happens soon, otherwise this is going to be one hell of a re-write.
Put out a good 2000+ and am getting more acquainted with some new characters. Would be happier if I knew that I could actually do the required 3000+ words for tomorrow, but I'm 99% sure that I'll be behind every day this week (I am so optimistic aren't I?). Luckily in just over a week I will realize that I'm unemployed and can power through this silly thing. I remember leaving my NaNo for weeks untouched while I was in England, and in that last week I wrote like a madperson, just squeaking by at midnight. Point being that I know I can pull this off, even if I haven't given myself the best start.
To make matters worse, I'm ahead of my cabinmates, which means that my competitive drive isn't fully kicking in because I have no one to beat. I miss having a whole wall of writing buddies so that at least someone is readily available to push me into the mud and trample all over me... Why do I enjoy competitive noveling again? So I think I'm missing everything since Friday... Friday was grand! Went to Theatre Calgary's production of God of Carnage. I knew nothing about this play going in, but Matt and I loved it. Real world comedy about love, life, marriage, and the facades we put up. It was quick and witty. Wonderful date-night for us! As for NaNoing. I did what I could on Friday night but, alas, did not meet my word goal. I wrote as much as I could, submitted at midnight, and then went to bed. Saturday. Exciting dress fitting! Sorry no pictures. Then Matt brought a friend over and we had a game night (surprise, surprise). Arkham Horror, Miskatonic School For Girls, King of Tokyo. I am hoping to break open some of our new(er) games soon. As you can probably guess, no writing was done this day either. It is now 5:30 on Sunday. I keep thinking that I will start writing... We'll see if this actually happens... Oh, and totally just realized that I didn't bring this up at all! My proof copy of Freakhouse arrived on Friday! Thus far I have already found 3 typos on the back cover alone. Matt will read it and find the billion of others sometime soon. Joys of doing a midnight kick-off, day one feels like day two! 2,488 words before midnight tonight, though 2,000 words in I realize how I should have started this book... I'm attempting a recovery but we'll see how well this actually goes down later. Freakhouse was officially a novel to challenge myself with, but I think trying to sequel is one of my greatest challenges yet. I'm not even omitted letters this time around and I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed. How do authors do it? I mean, granted Knightsbridge may end up being multiple books one day, but the point is that I've always been intending to write it all in one go. This is the first time I'm actually post-writing. It's weird and I don't think that I like it. As far as I can see, the near future consists of me doing one-shots, even if they are epically lengthy like one unfinished work I know... Oh well. Should not get pessimistic now. It is only day one after all. I have 29 more days of headdesking to look forward to. What was it that George R.R. Martin said? I don't like writing, I like having written. Couldn't agree more. Couldn't agree more. Happy Writing WriMo's! So despite me talking about doing Camp NaNoWriMo for the past few months, it didn't really sink in that this was actually going to be happening. I guess November is the only writing acceptable time of the year. So at 12:01 I looked up at the clock, exclaimed "Oh crap!" and proceeded to boot up the ol' lappy-tappy. It is now 2:o0am. I have written over 1,700 words and have no idea what the hell those 1,700 words are about or where I am going with this. Now, it it was a stand alone novel, I wouldn't be overly worried; I could take it in any direction, even a partially functioning brain direction. But this is my attempt to write a sequel, which specifically means that there's some importance in continuity, sequencing, and actually linking the two stories together. Do I know what is supposed to take place in Parish? Absolutely, or I wouldn't bother with a second book. Does my brain right now know anything about Parish? Not at all. It's still trying to figure out why my teeth aren't brushed for the night yet. In short, congratulations to me for writing the first 1,700 words that will probably be omitted from the final draft of Parish. Or the first 1,700 words of a 50,000 word book that will never be released. Either way I did something in the wee hours of the night... or morning... what does 2:00 am count as if I haven't gone to sleep yet?
Wishing all those other WriMo's out there far better luck than I am currently experiencing! Adult life really gets in the way of writing. By now, I should not only be done editing Freakhouse, but my cover should be made and this post would include a release announcement. Reality, on the other hand, has determined that I have not even opened up the Freakhouse file since I consulted with my last beta reader, something that has me concerned since I have also vowed to undertake the Camp NaNoWriMo challenge in order to complete the sequel, a feat that I believe requires me to refresh my memory on Freakhouse related things.
I must be in NaNo mode already, look at that run-on. So why am I taking the time to complain about this on a blog as opposed to actually using this spare moment get my act together and re-read the damn thing? Because this takes far less time and effort. Sure Freakhouse can be read in one sitting, but I don't believe for a moment that will actually bring myself to do that today. And since I really only have today (thanks to an unexpected middle of the night excursion in Emergency; I'm doing much better now, by the way), I have the terrible feeling that I will put it down, walk away and not even look at it for at least another week - probably in those last few moments before NaNo actually begins. A poor excuse I know, but really I just felt the urge to do something partially creative with the small burst of motivation I have right now, which will probably soon fade into a fog of naptime. Hey, I wasn't released until 3:00am, I can naptime all I want! Though if I can take anything away from this experience, I must say that the inmates of Freakhouse have a far better doctor response time. No character of mine is going to spend hours in a waiting room, praying that they don't have to run back out to spend another $20 on parking, and wondering as each hour passes if somehow they were forgotten about! Granted that I wasn't tortured for scientific experimentation either - at least I hope I wasn't - but still, it shouldn't require one to break into a seizure just to be allowed to get a blood sample over and done with. Hmmm, new ideas for new lows in the new ward... Regardless on when I get Freakhouse up and running, April will be the commencement of Parish. I don't feel nearly as prepared as I was for Freakhouse, but I have a good sense of the milestones. Plus, Dotan is pretty good about running his own show so I know that the story will go where it's supposed to. I know, until it is actually released, this all pretty much means nothing, except to two other people who have some idea what this is all about. In short, two books are coming. Three if I am very optimistic about Knightsbridge - but don't get me started on that one. This post has already turned itself into a long rant of pent-up writer aggravation. You can rest assured that it will only get worse in April when I'm freaking out about word counts and trying to not-so-secretly compete with the random strangers who have been placed in my "cabin". I don't know if I like this "Camp" idea, but I'm committed now. NaNoing outside of November... it's almost sacrilegious... Well that's enough rant from me. There is still much procrastination left to do! |
AuthorAshley Newell, stupendous noveling sensation whom you've probably never heard of...
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