I swear I'm not a pessimistic person! If I were, I probably wouldn't have bothered publishing in the first place. I am simply aware that the only reason I have 215 participants is because it's so automatic to enter these things that there is no real commitment involved. Those who actually want to read my book will either just purchase it or beg me for an e-mailed version because they have no money - strangely enough the second one hasn't actually happened post-publication, even my starving student friends are more likely to support my work than some family members who wait to get it gifted to them... and are still waiting...
...I went on a tangent and have lost my point... the solution of course is to go back and re-read what I just wrote and figure it out from there, but, let's face it, I stream of consciousness the crap out of this blog so re-reading anything really defeats the purpose.
Right! GoodReads! So posting Freakhouse as a Giveaway is really the greatest amount of marketing I have ever done for my own work - if I'm volunteering for another organization I will shamelessly whore anything - have you noticed how many NaNo references I make on this website?!?! I have a real issue in selling myself or my work, as I've probably mentioned several times. But I guess that's the difference between what I consider to be success and what others do. I feel more successful adding a new title onto my free website that no one reads, while others feel successful after writing one book and hunting down thousands of publishers until someone says yes. So, I am in no way on route to being the next J.K. Rowling, and after writing a sequel I am quite convinced that I am NOT a serial writer! The few supporters I have is all the reassurance I need at the moment. I read an article a few days back about how it's actually better to write for a smaller audience than try to please a large one; well, if my audience is me and the 2 people who read my work, then I'm feeling very successful!
In completely unrelated news, Curious Endeavourances is reading Gormenghast's first book, Titus Groan. I've been waiting to read this forever! And by "forever" I mean since 2008 when Caitlin and I saw the play at UBC. Forget movie moments, that play is my Theatre moment! Put me in that Cineplex commercial: "Who? Who? I am not your father - I am the Death Owl! WHOOOO!" while simultaneously breaking up a duel by walking through it pushing a wheelchair! I need to see this play again! Someone in Calgary decide to put it on! and then someone look over the fact that I don't have a BFA in Acting from Alberta and trust that I actually do have extensive acting experience and put me in the play! That's a whole other rant. There's a lot that I don't miss about living in a small town, but actually being allowed to get on stage is something that's been driving me crazy. Too much competition in a big city and I have no intention of making a career out of it, I just love doing it. So, do I put down $7,000 to put my life on hold for 2 years just to be allowed to perform a little Shakespeare, or just keep hoping that someday the community theatre organizations will actually act like community theatre and let the common riffraff like me back at it? Worst part about moving, the starting over.
Can't complain too much, though. Overall life is good and everything I've been working at for all of these years is coming together. I'm in line to start my career, I'm marrying my high school sweetheart, and, HELLO? I just published my second book!
Now, back to reading Gormenghast and giggling to myself because of all of the inside jokes floating around in my head that no one but Caitlin will appreciate and, unfortunately, she isn't here to tell my partner that I'm totally justified in giggling at nothing. Then again, Matt seems to be pretty used to this kind of behaviour from me. A good thing, too, because I don't intend to stop once we're married either.