Ashley Newell
Unleash the literary abandon!
  • Home
  • Publications & Products
    • Books >
      • Galen
      • Freakhouse
    • Games
    • All Works
  • EVENTS
  • Resources
  • Links
  • Contact

A Little Self-Pity and a Lot of Awe

9/18/2014

0 Comments

 
I really don't know how to go about blogging about this without sounding like I'm just marketing. Yeah, when I set out to re-read Freakhouse last night, it was to comb through, grab a few quotes, and spiff up the ol' author page a bit. But once I started reading it, I was just a reader. 

I know that I've mentioned this before in other posts, but it still surprises me each time. First of all, no one thinks that what I do isn't good enough worse than I do. It's a sad reality, but yes, I will look back on any one of my successes and tear it down, justifying how it really wasn't anything great. I don't do it to be modest; this is clearly a self-esteem issue and I'm happy to be honest about that. So while I remember my writing of Freakhouse, remember the incubation in my head, the brutality of editing, and the thrill of publication, I don't remember it being a great read. I remember being proud of it, and loving it at the time, but as time goes on I can convince myself that past me was slightly delusional. 

So it's been a while since I've actually sat down and read Freakhouse. After proofing version after version, your own work can be the last thing you ever want to read. Last night, I wasn't a writer, I was just a reader, and I was absorbed from the first page. It was strange watching everything unfold as separate from me, and I don't mean in a bad way at all, I mean in the way that you fall into any good book that you've never read before. But I have read this book, I should know this book better than anyone. And yet, as I was falling in love with it, I couldn't help but wonder "Who wrote this?!?!" Despite my vivid recollection, despite my name and picture being smeared all over it, I could not see myself having written something that I loved this much.

You have to admit, that's pretty sad, and it says a lot about it in not so pleasant ways. But I'm not seeking sympathy here. I just wanted to share the awe. Freakhouse is one of my most favourite books - as a reader. How could I have forgotten that? This story, these characters that mean so much to me! One of my favourite books of all time, and on top of that, I wrote it - I don't know how, but through some strange inexplicable universe-bending phenomenon, I created something beautiful. 

I am hardly my own biggest fan, but maybe it is time that I renew that fan-club membership. Clearly I've been missing out.
0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    Author

    Picture
    Ashley Newell, stupendous noveling sensation whom you've probably never heard of...

    Categories

    All
    3DayNovel
    Book Club
    Doctor Ood
    Dream Journal
    Game Design
    Games
    #MomLife
    NaNoWriMo
    Personal
    Random Reviews
    Rant
    Shameless Promotion
    Stories And Writing
    Theatre

    Archives

    September 2024
    July 2023
    June 2023
    March 2023
    February 2023
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2019
    April 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    March 2016
    August 2015
    May 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013
    December 2012

    RSS Feed

    Tweets by Olanthea
© COPYRIGHT Ashley Newell and NewellBooks.com 2025. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s authoris strictly prohibited.
Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Ashley Newell and NewellBooks.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content
Photos from kona99, Tambako the Jaguar, ^Joe, bradleyolin